How I don’t Compare myself
Comparison is one nasty vice that has crippled many. It has rendered visions obsolete and laid waste to endeavours. A powerful tool in the hands of novices. Depending on how it’s employed, it may revitalize or thwart growth and progress.
The antidote to this unrelenting poison is Focus.
Focus is only possible where Purpose is set and known. Focus is towards a particular end. It cannot be arbitrary, it is always intentional.
I have opportunities to compare myself with my peers, however, I’ve found that to be detrimental to progress and unwise. The problem is, upon comparing yourself, you run into either one of two ditches. One, if you are the better in the comparison, pride and complacency might set in. Two, if you’re behind, you might decide to quit, be envious, develop self-loathe, low self-esteem, and even depression. The latter ditch is most common as most people lack a sense of Purpose or Destiny.
At a certain point in my life, I discovered my Destiny, I understood my Purpose. The reason to live and work hard every day. This one thing has turned my life right side up.
Whenever the occasion to compare me with anyone comes up, I’m ever immune and I stay focused.
The thing is when one has no apparent Destination they’re headed to, then any path works and everyone in their respective paths is a rival. Your neighbour’s progress threatens you as if you were trying to achieve the same goal. Those who aren’t doing what you consider important are trash.
Comparison can be used to propel one forward by developing a healthy resistance to complacency.
When I meet my peer, much more established than me, say financially, I interrogate myself in honesty. I ask myself why I think that person is doing better than me, “Is this person headed in the same direction as me?” The answer here is a resounding no. “Do I know where I am going and am I still headed in that direction? Is money necessary in achieving the dreams that I have? How is his progress related to my progress?” and so on. The whole idea is, I don’t just slip into fantasy thinking of how great their lives must be and how miserable a life I lead.
This rescue plan works only because I have a clear target set. Not a moving goal post like a neighbour’s progress. It’s a fixed point of reference in the future. Because of this, any small progress I make inches me closer to my destiny. This is encouraging as it alleviates the pressure to jump from level 0 to 100.
Since I am comparing myself with my future self who has achieved all he should achieve, there remains no pressure on me to perform. I compare myself to my God-given destiny which keeps me humble because I stay dependent on God. It is impossible to get to my Destiny without God. It’s too great to achieve alone.
So, when I see that rich friend, instead of falling into self-pity, boldness takes over. This is what I tell myself, “You don’t know about other people, but you know you’re on the right path, you are getting closer to your destiny, no one is going to steal your purpose from you, keep your head down, mind your own business and stay focused. Get to work!”
Knowing my Purpose brought a form of pride or rather a contentment with my destiny. I cannot covet anyone. Whatever they are doing is irrelevant, all that matters is staying on track. If I stay true to the course, everyone will be envious of me instead of me being envious of them. In the sense that I’ll be an inspiration to others instead of adding to the number of those who are trapped in depression and self-pity. Serving my purpose gives me such satisfaction that I don’t have any space for comparison. The fulfilment is inexpressible. No one’s life or progress is desirable to me. I am living the best life. I am the best person to realize my purpose. No one on earth is doing as great as I am concerning attaining my God-given goals. If anyone will do anything about my purpose, it will be me.
The full soul loatheth a honeycomb, but to the hungry soul, every bitter thing is sweet. ~ Pro 27:7 KJV
When one doesn’t know what exactly they were made for, they end up wanting to do everything, failing to do anything, covet everyone’s life, take in any desirable or dangerous thing they find on the way then end up encumbered with sorrows and worry. Frustration and laziness step in and loss of focus characterizes them. A sure path to failure.
If you don’t know the purpose of a thing, you will abuse it and frustrate its purpose.
Dismissing comparison has become trivial to me. No time is wasted on it. The formula is simple and straight, find Destiny, charge towards it, ignore everyone and everything else.
The grass is always greener on the other side because you don’t water yours. I ensure that I stay intentional every day and put some work towards my God-given dreams. A millimetre of progress is closer than ever. Instead of curling myself into a corner and wishing everything was perfect, I work with what I have. Preparation time is never wasted time.
It’s not like I have attained all I should attain but I won’t waste time comparing myself. What benefit is there in a fish comparing itself to a bird? None. Why stress myself over things that aren’t on the path to my Destiny?
Sure this sounds prideful to some people but again all that matters is that I achieve what my Maker set in my Heart and when He says “Well Done my Son”, I’ll be glad. I don’t want Him to say, “well, you’re done, son.”
I am living a fulfilled life because I discovered my Purpose. I have neither pressure nor stress, I am doing exactly what I was cut out for. Nothing on the sidelines is appealing to me because I have a lot on my plate already. A lot that I am specifically equipped for.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. ~ 2Cor 10:12 KJV
